Saturday, June 27, 2009

I Just Want One More Day With You...

I'm so sad and depressed
Is all I want to do is rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can't fight

I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are still near

I love you more than you know
I just wish you didn't have to go
I just want one more day with you
And I know thats what you would have wanted too

I miss you more and more each day
There is so much more we had to say
I know I will see you again
But my life is just started to begin.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I love this.....

To My Friends Who Are........... SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are............ NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are............ PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say "I love you" if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are............ MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry. "Not "where are you", but "I'm right here." Not "how could you", but "I understand." Not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

To My Friends Who Are............ ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............ HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are............ NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never beunfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are............ AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurt seven more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............ STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....

TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......
My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Does Love Need Reason?? (This may answer ur question hunny..)

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can’t tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady : You can’t even tell me the reason… how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don’t know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm… because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man’s answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became comma. The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

Darling,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you… Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you.. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you.. Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you…

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you… And love doesn’t need a reason.

” Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart “

Buka Puasa With my Soon-to-be-my-family-in-law...

24 June 2009, 1 Rejab 1430H...merupakan hari bersejarah bagi hidupku kerana inilah kali pertama aku makan bersama keluarga org y ak sayangi..Tidak dapat digambarkan betapa cuaknya ak masa tu. Jantung ak menerima work load y lebih daripada biasa.
Terasa bagaikan jantung ni ingin terkeluar dari abdomenku..
cuak tu bukan sbb ape..tapi apabila fikirkan ak terpaksa menjual diriku kepada keluarga dia..ibarat seorg jurujual, ak terpaksa fikirkan cara terbaik untuk menjual diriku..cara y paling berkesan untuk meyakinkan mereka bahawa ak adalah y terbaik...

Huhuhu...oleh y demikian,(lame giler xguna ayat nih..ahhaa..) ak cuba tenangkan diriku dengan terus meletakkan anggapan bahawa mereka sudah terima diriku dan ak telah biasa dengan mereka..

Saat tiba di depan rumah, jantungku semakin bertambah2 work load nya..tapi setelah masuk ke dalam rumah dan kelihatan pakcik hassan sepertinya peramah buatkan ak senang untuk berbual dengannya..walaupun ak masih malu2 biawak, tapi ak cuba y terbaik seolah2 tiada apa y perlu dirisaukan..

Kini, tibalah masanya untuk waktu berbuka puasa..ak dok pk2 lam pale, ini kalau dia suruh ak baca doa bukak puasa nih ade y gelak dengar suara ak ketar2...hahaha... bukan xingat tp dlm keadaan cuak nih ape2 pon boleh jadi..tambah2 bila tgk mak dia buat kali pertama..wahahhaa...ingatkan muka garang tapi blh tahan jugak la lawa nya...
hahahahahahahahaha....
Ak ingat xnk makan byk2 tp skali sedap pulak ayam ungkep..(masakan jawa nih...).. pastu tambah2 lak diorg cam spoting je soh ak makan, ak tibai je..tp sbb ingat y ini 1st time ak jumpa diorg, ak rasa xleh la nk tunjuk sgt gelojoh..so, mkn sikit2 je la..seb bek la diorg paham pastu bagi bwak balik bekal..wahahahaha...

Apa2 pon, ak rasa gembira berjumpa diorg, berkenalan dengan diorg...tp soalan last sebelum ak balik, "Bila la kami boleh jumpa mak ayah kamu pulak ni?" hahaha... Lantas ak menjawab, "InsyaALLAH.."...jangan bimbang yah..nnt org bawak ma ngan abah dtg jumpa ayah eh...

and thanks for that buka puasa...Sayang korg sume....
Mmmuahhhhh....

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Just love this song.....huhuhu....

I Don't Wanna Talk About It
by Rod Steward


I can tell by your eyes
That you've probably been crying forever
And the stars in the sky
Don't mean nothing to you they're a mirror
I don't wanna talk about it
How you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here won't you listen to my heart
ohh my heart

If I stand all alone
Will the shadows hide the color of my heart
blue
for the tears
Black
for the nights

Fears the stars on the sky don't mean nothing to you
They're a mirror
I don't wanna (blue) talk about it (black)
How you broke my heart
(blue, black, blue, black)
If I stay, if I stay here
Won't you listen to my heart

I can tell by your eyes
That you've probably been crying forever
And the stars in the sky
Don't mean nothing to you they're a mirror
I don't wanna talk about it
How you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here won't you listen to my heart
ohh my heart

Monday, June 8, 2009

Cupid Chokeholds By Gym Class Heroes

ba ba da da
ba ba da da
ba ba da da
ba ba da da
ba ba da da

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]

It's been some time since we last spoke
This is gonna sound like a bad joke
But momma I fell in love again
It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend

And I know it sounds so old
But cupid got me in a chokehold
And I'm afraid I might give in
Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin'

I mean she even cooks me pancakes
And alka seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is
We even got a secret handshake
And she loves the music that my band makes
I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or The sun
I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]
Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]

It's been awhile since we talked last and I'm tryin' hard not to talk fast
But dad I'm finally thinkin' I may have found the one
Type of girl that will make you way proud of your son

And I know you heard the last song
About the girls that didn't last long
But I promise this is on a whole new plane
I can tell by the way she says my name
[ba ba da da]

I love the way she calls my phone
She even got her very own ringtone
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is
[ba ba da da]

It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as Soon as I arrive home
And I open the door take off my coat and throw My bag on the floor
She'll be back in my arms into my arms once more For sure like
[ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba]

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]

She's got a smile that would make the most senile
Annoying old man bite his tongue
I'm not done
She's got eyes comparable to sunrise
And it doesn't stop there
Man I swear
She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten
And now she's even got her own song
But movin' on
She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard
And we can be on the phone for three hours
Not sayin' one word
And I would still cherish every moment
And when I start to build my future she's the main component
Call it dumb call it luck call it love or Whatever you call it but
Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like you

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got [ba ba da da]
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot
[ba ba da da, ba ba da da]


Love u sooo much syg....

Friday, June 5, 2009

Hanya tinggal kenangan (Patut dibaca oleh sume suami dan bakal suami)

"Aduh-.sakitnyer-isk-.. aduuh-.Bang sakit nye tak tahan saya"
keluh Nisa pada suaminya Zakri. "Apelah awak nie-.lama sangat nak
bersalin dah berjam-jam dah tak keluar-keluar juga. Penat dah saya
tunggu. Nih mesti ader benda yang tak elok awak buat , itu lah
sebab lambat keluar budak tu banyak dosa la tu" rungut Zakri pd
Nisa. Nisa hanya diam dan menahan sakit nak beranak, hampir 1 ½
jam Nisa dalam bilik bersalin tapi baby tak keluar juga. Sebak
hati Nisa bila Zakri berkata begitu. Sejak mengandung ada sahaja
yang tidak kena dihati Zakri terhadapnya. Seakan-akan membenci
Nisa dan anak yang dikandungnya. Jururawat datang memeriksa dan
kemudian bergegas memanggil Doktor Johari-Doktor Johari (Doktor
Peribadi) datang dan bergegas menyediakan keperluan menyambut
kelahiran. Nisa hanya mendiamkan diri menahan sakit dan air mata
meleleh panas dipipi bukan disebabkan takut atau sakit tapi
rungutan Zakri tadi.

Doktor Johari menyuruh Nisa meneran -"Come on Nisa u can do it-one
more-." Kata ransang Doktor Johari itu membuatkan Nisa bertenaga
dan sekali teran sahaja kepala baby sudah keluar-"Good mummy" kata
Doktor Johari selepas menyambut baby yang keluar itu. Tiba-tiba
Nisa terasa sakit lagi dan Nisa meneran untuk kali kedua dan
keluar seorang lagi baby, kembar rupanya. "Nisa u got twin, boy
and girl, putih macam mummy dia" kata Doktor Johari memuji Nisa.
"Tahniah Zakri, it's a twin"Doktor Johari mengucapkan tahniah
kepada Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri setelah menyaksikan
kelahiran anak pertamanya, kembar pulak . Memang Doktor Johari itu
menyuruhnya melihat bagaimana keadaan kelahiran anaknya. Baby boy
dan girl Nisa namakan Mohammad Danial dan Nur Dania. Nisa berasa
lega- tapi Nisa masih lagi teringat kata-kata Zakri padanya
sebentar tadi. Terlalu banyak kata-kata yang membuat Nisa selalu
kecil hati . Tapi Nisa tahankan sahaja. Nisa tahu kalau Nisa
mengadu pada emak, Nisa akan dimarahi semula. Jadi Nisa hanya diam
dan memendam rasa. Danial dan Dania diletakkan dinursery di
Hospital itu sementara menanti Nisa berehat kemudian dapatlah Nisa
menyusukan Danial dan Dania. Comel sungguh kembar Nisa.

Nisa termenung dan otak fikirannya menerbang kembali detik-detik
semasa Nisa mengandungkan kandungannya, Zakri selalu memarahi
Nisa, ada sahaja yang tidak kena. Kata Nisa yang bukan-bukan,
gila, ada sahaja tuduhan yang tidak masuk akal semuanya
dihamburkan pada Nisa. Tak sanggup Nisa hadapi semua itu tapi demi
kandungannya, Nisa kuatkan semangat dan pendirian Nisa. Ingat lagi
waktu Nisa mula mengandung Zakri tak percaya Nisa mengandung anak
dia, dua kali dia membuat pemeriksaan Antenatal samada Nisa
mengandung. Zakri ragu anak dalam kandungan Nisa. Dia tak boleh
terima baru tiga bulan kahwin dah mengandung-Nisa dah 2 bulan-Nisa
cuma kosong selama sebulan selepas berkahwin. Nisa tak tau nak
cakap apa. Nisa balik rumah dalam kesedihan. Pada mulanya Nisa
gembira bila mengandung tapi sebaliknya pulak terjadi. Perasaan
hati Nisa bangga Nisa dapat memberi zuriat kepada Zakri. Tapi apa
yang Nisa dapat hanyalah tuduhan yang tak pernah terlintas di otak
jemala Nisa.

"Kenapa abang berlainan sekarang ni, tak macam dulu pelembut, suka
berjenaka, ni tak asyik nak cari salah Nisa sahaja. Nape
Bang?"soal Nisa pada Zakri

"Kaulah penyebabnya. Tak yah nak tunjuk baik plak" Zakri
menempelak Nisa "Jantan mana yang kau layan kat opis kau tu"
sergah Zakri lagi.

"Abg syak Nisa ngan lelaki lain ke? Kenapa Abg syak yg
bukan-bukan, Nisakan isteri Abang yang sah tak kan Nisa nak buat
jahat ngan orang lain pulak Bang"? terang Nisa pada Zakri.

"ALLAH dah bagi kita rezeki awal, tak baik cakap cam tu. Itu semua
kehendak ALLAH" Nisa senyum dan menghampiri sambil memeluk badan
suaminya tetapi Zakri meleraikan pelukan Nisa dengan kasar
sehingga Nisa hampir tersungkur. Nisa menangis dan sedih.

  ri buat tak tahu sahaja. Deraian airmata Nisa semakin laju.
Nisa hanya mampu menangis. Terasa dada Nisa sakit menahan semua
tohmahan dari Zakri, suaminya yang sah.

"Woi, benda-benda tu bole terjadilah Nisa, kawan baik ngan bini
sendiri, suami sendiri, bapak ngan anak, hah emak ngan menantu pun
bole jadi tau apatah lagi macam kau nie, tau tak. Tu dulu kawan
kau lama tu yang satu opis ngan kau tu, Farid, bukan main baik
lagi budak tu"marah Zakri.

"Entah-entah keturunan kau , darah daging kau pun tak
senonoh-.heee teruk. Nasib aku la dapat bini cam engkau ni"kutuk
Zakri lagi pada Nisa.

"Bawa mengucap Bang, jangan tuduh saya yang bukan-bukan saya bukan
perempuan tak tentu arah walaupun saya menumpang keluarga ni ,
saya bukan jenis macam tu saya tau akan halal haram, hukum hakam
agama. Walaupun saya tak tau asal usul keluarga kandung saya, saya
bersyukur dan berterima kasih pada emak kerana jaga saya dari
kecil dah macam darah daging saya sendiri" kata Nisa pada Zakri.

"Tapi Abang tak boleh hina keluarga kandung saya walaupun saya tak
penah tengok muka ayah dan mak kandung saya. Mereka lahirkan saya
kedunia"ucap Nisa sambil menangis.

Semenjak kejadian itu Nisa terpaksa mengikut Zakri ketempat
kerjanya apabila habis waktu kerja. Nisa berehat di Surau tempat
Zakri bekerja. Zakri bekerja di salah sebuah Pusat membeli belah
dan kerjanya mengikut shif. Kalau Zakri shif malam terpaksalah
Nisa menunggu Zakri sehingga pukul 10.30 malam - 11.30 malam
sehingga habis Pusat membeli belah itu tamat waktu perniagaannya.
Nisa terpaksa berbohong pada emak dan keluarga lain dengan
mengatakan Nisa buat overtime di pejabat. Nisa terpaksa berbuat
demikian kerana tidak mahu dikata-kata dan dituduh lagi. Dengan
keadaan perut semakin membesar Nisa gagahkan juga. Tetapi
kadangkala Zakri tidak menjemput Nisa ditempat kerja terpaksalah
Nisa menaiki bas. Begitulah Nisa sehinggalah Nisa hampir pada
waktu bersalin Nisa. Kalau diminta jemput-macam-macam kata kesat
dilemparkan pada Nisa, perempuan tak tau berdikarilah, berlagak
senang lah, lagak kaya lah. Pernah suatu hari Nisa naik marah
kerana Zakri jemput Nisa lambat sampai sakit pinggang Nisa
menunggunya. Nisa menangis. Zakri tiba-tiba naik angin dan cakap
perangai Nisa macam firaun la, perempuan tak sedar diri lah, tak
layak jadi isterilah, menyusahkan macam-macam kata nista
dilemparkan pada Nisa. Nisa tambah sedih mengenangkan diri Nisa,
ngadu kat emak takut dimarahi pula-bila Nisa balik kerumah kami
berdua akan berlakun yang kami tidak bergaduh-Nisa sedaya upaya
tidak mahu menunjukkan yang masalah melanda perkahwinan kami.
Kasihan Nisa-dalam keadaan yang begitu Nisa masih mampu bertahan
masih kuat lagi emosinya.

Satu hari Zakri dalam keadaan marah telah menarik rambut Nisa dan
menghantukkan kepala Nisa ke dinding-Nisa hanya mampu menangis dan
menanggung kesakitan gara-gara Nisa nak pergi ke rumah Mak Usu
Nisa yang ingin mengahwinkan anaknya di Tanjung Karang. Emak Nisa
dah seminggu pergi kesana untuk menolong Hari dah mula petang jadi
Nisa mendesak agar bertolak cepat kerana kalau hari malam nanti
bahaya , "Kita nak jalan jauh ni Bang. Biarlah kita pergi awal
sikit bolehlah tolong apa yang patut. Masa nilah kita nak membalas
pertolongan mereka, ingat tak masa kita kahwin mereka bekerja
keras kan"kata Nisa pada Zakri. Zakri ketika itu sedang berehat
menonton. "Bang dengar tak ni, lagi pun hari dah mula gelap, takut
plak hujan nanti"desak Nisa lagi. Tiba-tiba Zakri bangun dan
mukanya bengis memandang Nisa "Kau tahu aku penatkan, tak boleh
tunggu ker, suka hati aku lah nak pegi malam ke siang ke tak pegi
lansung ker"marah Zakri. "Itu Nisa tau, Abang dah berehat dari
pagi tadi Bang masih penat lagi, Nisa cuma nak ingatkan Abang
saja"Nisa memberitahu Zakri. Zakri datang pada Nisa dan
direntapnya rambut Nisa dan di hantukkannya kepala Nisa kedinding.
Nisa tak dapat buat apa. YA ALLAH sanggup Zakri berbuat
demikian-terasa kebas kepala Nisa dan mula membengkak. Pening
kepala Nisa dibuatnya."YA ALLAH kau kuatkan iman aku YA ALLAH,
lindungilah aku dan kandungan aku dari bahaya YA ALLAH"doa Nisa
dalam hatinya. Nisa memencilkan diri Nisa disudut dinding dan
menangis. Zakri kemudian duduk diam. Nisa rasa kepala Nisa macam
nak pecah. Kebas masih lagi dan membengkak-berdenyut2-"Bang Nisa
minta maaf jika Nisa membuat Abang marah"Nisa memohon maaf pada
Zakri sambil teresak-esak.

Treet, Treet, Treet, Treet-.bunyi handphone Zakri. "Sapa plak nie
, sebok je-." Rungut Zakri yang tengah sibuk berborak dengan
kawan-kawan di salah sebuah café. "Hoi, Encik Zakri, bini ko kat
wad tak gi jengok ke, apa punya laki ko nie?sindir Azlan, kawan
pejabat Zakri. "Alah, dia sihat je kat wad tu, makan tanggung
berak cangkung, ha,ha,ha"gelak Zakri dan kawan-kawan lain. Azlan
cuma berdiam diri. "Senangnya hidup Zakri nie tak ader risau
langsung pasal bini dia"cetus hati Azlan. "Akulah kalau bini aku
masuk wad bersalin aku sentiasa dok sebelah dia tau-mereka
perlukan kita masa tu-nyawa mereka dihujung tanduk semata-mata nak
melahirkan zuriat yang dari darah daging engkau tau, cuba fikir
sikit" Azlan mengingatkan Zakri. "Iyelah, Lan, lagipun Nisa dah
bersalin, selamat dah, sekarang tengah berehat laaa, apa aku nak
risau lagi"jawab Zakri selamba. "Suka hati kau lah, tapi kalau
ader apa-apa nanti kau jangan menyesal Zakri, sesal tak sudah
nanti"kata Azlan lagi.

Treet, Treet, Treet-.bunyi handphone Zakri. "Hello Zakri speaking"
jawab Zakri. "Hello Zakri, Doktor Johari sini, ade masalahlah
Zakri, pasal Nisa, datang segera ke hospital ye Zakri, Nisa tidak
sedarkan diri---"panggilan kecemasan dari Doktor Johari "Iye ke,
teruk ke dia Johari , okay I datang"-tuttttttt. Zakri menamatkan
perbualannya dengan Doktor Johari.

"Lan. Kau ikut aku, Nisa tak sedar diri -"ajak Zakri pada Lan.
"Hah, tadi kau kata bini kau sihat"tanya Lan pada Zakri. "Alah jom
ler cepat" desak Zakri.

"Zakri, kami tak dapat selamatkan Nisa, Nisa mengalami pendarahan
otak yang serius, sebelum nie pernah tak Nisa jatuh atau-terhantuk
kuat cause sebelah kanan kepalanya kelihatan bengkak dan ada tanda
lebam. Mungkin kesan dah lama ? tanya Doktor Johari dengan serius
dan ingin penjelasan Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri. Automatik
otak Zakri teringat yang dia pernah menarik rambut Nisa dan
menghantukkan kepala Nisa kedinding sekuatnya-dan selepas kejadian
itu Zakri tidak pernah pun membawa Nisa ke Klinik untuk membuat
pemeriksaan kepalanya dan semenjak kejadian itu Nisa sering sakit
kepala yang teruk ...tapi Zakri tidak pernah mengendahkan
kesakitan Nisa-.baginya Nisa mengada-ngada ..saja buat sakit untuk
minta simpati-tetapi sebaliknya-..Zakri hanya diam-."YA ALLAH apa
aku dah buat" rasa bersalah membuat dirinya terasa menggigil-

"Doktor Zainal yang merawat Nisa kerana Nisa mengadu sakit kepala
sewaktu Nisa memberi susu pada kembarnya di Nursery, sakit yang
amat sangat katanya so Doktor Zainal membawa Nisa ke Lab untuk
membuat scanning di kepalanya dan confirm otaknya ada darah beku
tapi malangnya ia sudah ditahap yang kritikal, kami tak mampu
lakukan apa-apa kerana Nisa tidak mahu di operation sebelum
meminta izin dari kau Zakri, Nisa telah pergi dulu dengan tenang.
Permintaan terakhir Nisa, Nisa minta kau membaca diarinya. I'm
really sorry Zakri. ALLAH berkuasa Zakri kita tak dapat
menghalangnya" kata Doktor Johari lalu memberikan Zakri sebuah
diari yang berbalut kemas dengan kain lampin baby yang masih baru.


Zakri mengambil diari itu dan membuka setiap lembaran diari Nisa,
setiap lembaran tertulis rapi tulisan Nisa dan peristiwa yang
berlaku pada Nisa pada setiap hari , Zakri membacanya sepintas dan
nyata keluhan, kesakitan & segala luahan rasa Nisa semuanya
tertera di diarinya. Dan Zakri dapati setiap peristiwa itu
semuanya perlakuan buruk Zakri terhadap Nisa-"YA ALLAH kenapa aku
buat Nisa begini"terdetik hati Zakri selepas membaca tiap lembaran
diari Nisa. Dan terpandang oleh Zakri mukasurat akhir lembaran
diari yang ditanda dengan bunga ros merah yang telah
kering-membuat Zakri tertarik untuk membacanya-

Untuk suami Nisa yang tersayang, I LOVE U Bang-
"SELAMAT HARI ULANG TAHUN PERKAHWINAN YANG PERTAMA"

Assalamualaikum. Abang, Ingat tak bunga Ros merah ni, Abang
berikan pada Nisa sewaktu mula mengenali Abang. Lama Nisa simpan
bunga tu Bang-Bunga inilah lambang bermulanya perkenalan Nisa
dengan Abang. Nisa benar-benar menyayangi Abang. Nisa menyimpan
setiap hadiah yang abang bagi pada Nisa. Abang tak pernah tahu
kan- Itulah salah satu buktinya betapa sayangnya Nisa..

Terlebih dahulu Nisa ingin sangat dengar Abang panggil Nisa AYANG
seperti kita baru kahwin-Abang panggil Nisa AYANG-terasa diri
dimanja bila Abang panggil Nisa cam tu-walaupun Nisa dapat merasa
panggilan AYANG itu seketika sahaja. Abang dah banyak berubah.
Perkataan AYANG telah hilang dan tidak kedengaran untuk Nisa lagi.
Kenapa? Benci kah Abang pada Nisa?

Abang-mukasurat nie khas utk Abang. Bacalah semoga Abang tahu
sayangnya Nisa pada Abang. Abang ingatkan hari nie hari ulangtahun
perkahwinan kita yang pertama dan Nisa hadiahkan Abang--.Danial
dan Dania. Untuk Nisa tak perlulah Abang bagi kerana tak ada apa
yang Nisa inginkan melainkan kasih sayang Abang pada Nisa. Nisa
akan pergi mencari ketenangan dan kedamaian untuk diri Nisa. Nisa
pergi untuk menemui NYA. Nisa harap Abang akan menjaga Danial dan
Dania dengan baik dan jangan sekali-kali sakiti mereka. Danial dan
Dania tak tahu apa-apa. Itulah hadiah paling berharga dari diri
Nisa dan mereka adalah darah daging Abang. Jangan seksa mereka.
Abang boleh seksa Nisa tapi bukan mereka. Sayangilah mereka-Nisa
ingin mengatakan bahawa Nisa tak ada hubungan dengan sesiapa
melainkan Abang sahaja di hati Nisa. Jiwa dan raga Nisa hanya
untuk Abang seorang.

Terima kasih kerana Abang sudi mengahwini Nisa walaupun Nisa ini
cuma menumpang kasih disebuah keluarga yang menjaga Nisa dari
kecil hinggalah Nisa bertemu dengan Abang dan berkahwin. Nisa
harap Abang tidak akan mensia-siakan kembar kita dan Nisa tidak
mahu mereka mengikut jejak kehidupan Nisa yang malang kerana
menumpang kasih dari keluarga yang bukan dari darah daging
Nisa-tapi Nisa bersyukur kerana dapat mengecapi kasih sayang
sepenuhnya dari keluarga ini. Nisa harap sangat Abang akan
sentiasa memberitahu pada kembar kita yang Nisa ibunya akan
sentiasa bersama disamping kembar kita, walau pun Nisa tak dapat
membelai dan hanya seketika sahaja dapat mengenyangkan kembar kita
dengan air susu Nisa. Berjanji pada Nisa dan ingat DANIAL dan
DANIA adalah darah daging abang-Ampunkan Nisa dan halalkan segala
makan minum Nisa selama setahun kita bersama.

Sekiranya Abang tidak sudi menerima Danial dan Dania berilah pada
emak Nisa supaya emak menjaga kembar kita dan segala perbelanjaan
Nisa dah buat nama emak untuk KWSP Nisa. Biarlah emak menjaga
kembar kita sekurang-kurang terubat juga rindu emak sekeluarga
pada Nisa nanti bila memandang kembar kita. Comel anak kita
bang-Dania mengikut raut muka Abang-sejuk kata orang dan Nisa
yakin mesti Danial akan mengikut iras raut wajah Nisa-Ibunya-sejuk
perut Nisa mengandungkan mereka. Inilah peninggalan Nisa untuk
Abang. Semoga Abang masih sudi menyayangi dan mengingati walaupun
Nisa sudah tiada disisi Abang dan kembar kita.

Wassalam. Salam terakhir dari Nisa Untuk Abang dan semua. Doakan
Nisa.
Ikhlas dari
Nur Nisa

"Sabarlah Zakri, ALLAH maha berkuasa. Kuatkan semangat kau, kau
masih ada Danial dan Dania" pujuk Azlan. Zakri hanya tunduk
membisu.

YA ALLAH, Nisa maafkan Abg Nisa. Zakri longlai dan diari
ditangannya terlepas, sekeping gambar dihari pernikahan antara
Zakri dan Nisa jatuh dikakinya dan Zakri mengambilnya. Belakang
gambar itu tertulis "HARI YANG PALING GEMBIRA DAN BAHAGIA BUAT
NISA DAN SEKELUARGA. NISA DISAMPING SUAMI TERCINTA SELEPAS
DIIJABKABULKAN. SEMOGA KEGEMBIRAAN DAN KEBAHAGIAAN AKAN
MENYELUBUNGI DIRI NISA DAN KELUARGA NISA HINGGA KEAKHIR HAYAT
NISA.

Zakri terjelepuk dilantai dan berjuta penyesalan merangkumi
seluruh tubuhnya. Zakri seakan orang hilang akal. Satu demi satu
setiap perlakuannya terhadap isterinya Nisa seperti terakam dalam
kotak otaknya-setiap perbuatannya-seperti wayang jelas
terpampang...kenapalah sampai begini jadinya-kejamnya aku-Nisa,
Nisa, Nisa maafkan Abang Nisa.

Sewakt jenazah Nisa tiba dirumah suasana amat memilukan. Zakri
tidak terdaya untuk melihat keluarga Nisa yang begitu sedih atas
pemergian Nisa. Namun emak Nisa begitu tabah dan redha. Danial dan
Dania sentiasa di dalam pangkuan neneknya. Saat akhir untuk
melihat Jenazah Nisa, Zakri lihat muka Nisa tenang bersih dan
Zakri kucup dahi Nisa buat kali terakhir -seakan-akan lirik mata
Nisa mengikuti wajah Zakri. "Nisa Abang minta ampun dan maaf"
bisik Zakri perlahan pada telinga Nisa sambil menangis dengan
berjuta penyesalan menimpa-minpa dirinya. Apabila Zakri meletakkan
kembar disisi ibunya mereka diam dari tangisan dan tangan dari
bedungan terkeluar seolah-olah mengusapi pipi ibu mereka buat kali
terakhir dan terlihat oleh Zakri ada titisan airmata bergenang di
tepi mata Nisa. Meleleh perlahan-lahan bila kembar itu diangkat
oleh Zakri. Kembar menangis semula setelah diangkat oleh Zakri dan
diberikan kepada neneknya.

Jenazah Nisa dibawa ke pusara dan ramai yang mengiringinya
termasuklah kembar bersama. Walaupun kembar tidak tahu apa-apa
tapi biarlah kembar mengiringi pemergian Nisa, Ibu mereka yang
melahirkan mereka. Amat sedih ketika itu. Zakri tidak mampu
berkata apa-apa melainkan menangisi pemergian Nisa yang selama ini
merana atas perbuatannya. Dan akhirnya Jenazah Nisa selamat
dikebumikan. Satu persatu orang ramai meninggalkan kawasan pusara
dan akhirnya tinggallah Zakri keseorangan di pusara Nisa yang
merah tanahnya-meratapi pilu, berderai airmata dengan jutaan
penyesalan -YA ALLAH , kuatkan hambamu ini YA ALLAH. Hanya KAU
sahaja yang mengetahui dosa aku pada Nisa-.ampunkan aku YA
ALLAH-.akhirnya Zakri terlelap disisi pusara Nisa bermimpikan oleh
Zakri, Nisa datang mencium tangan, mengucup dahi dan memeluk Zakri
dengan lembut mulus. Zakri melihat Nisa tenang dan jelas
kegembiraan terpancar dimuka Nisa putih bersih. Nisa, Nisa, Nisa
nak kemana Nisa, Nisa, Nisaaaaaa

Zakri terjaga dari lenanya. Terngiang-ngiang suara kembar
menangis. "YA ALLAH , Zakri, Zakri bangun Zakri-dan hampir senja
ni, mari kita balik . kenapa kau tidur kat sini Zakri?"tegur abang
long , abang ipar Zakri. Dari jauh Zakri lihat emak dan kakak ipar
mengendung kembar. Mereka menangis. Zakri berlari menuju ke arah
kembarnya dan mengusap-usap ubun-ubun anak kembar dan secara
automatik kembarnya diam dari menangis. "Danial, Dania anak ayah,
ayah akan menjagamu nak-kaulah penyambung zuriat, darah daging
ayah- emak, abang dan kakak ipar Zakri tersedu hiba dan mereka
berlalu lemah meninggalkan pusara Nisa-

BOV vs Wastegate

In a turbo setup, the exhaust gas spins the turbine which in turn spins the compressor, therefore the compressor wheel is constantly in motion.

When you are accelerating, the compressor is spinning at X rpms over idle. Therefore it takes Y amount of time for the compressor to slow down to idle RPMS (no boost).

Now, when you are accelerating, all of the air that the turbo is pushing is injested by the motor and expelled out the exhaust however, when you let off the gas (such as during a shift) the throttle plate is instantly closed off, thereby stopping the flow of air that the turbo is pushing.

Because the turbo requires that Y amount of time to slow down to an RPM where it is no longer providing boost, during that instant when the throttle plate is closed, the turbo is STILL pushing pressurized air into the intake pipe.

Because of this, during that moment, the air is backed up and has no where to go except back through the compressor side of the turbo. That is not an ideal situation because of two main points:

1. its creates "compressor surge" which puts unnecessary stress on the bushings/bearings

2. slows down the compressor, so you need to spool it back up again after the shift. (slower ET's)

Because of this phenomenon, it would be benificial if one could stop this charged air from flowing backwards through the turbo when you let off the gas and the throttle plate closes.

Hence the use of a BOV. It sits on the intake side of the turbo. When it senses vacuum the internal piston/valve within the BOV is instantly opened the moment you let off the gas, allowing the charged air an ALTERNATE route to take instead of flowing backwards through the turbo. It can now vent to the atmosphere, which eliminates compressor surge and maintains spool up of the turbo during the shift.

You may be wondering why they don't equip production cars with BOV's? Well, MANY cars have factory BOV's. The 1G-2G Eclipses ALL have a stock BOV. You have to remember, the average Joe, that drives an Eclipse may not like the loud BOV sound, so they are designed to be as quiet as possible, therefore you may not have noticed it was there.

Some people have asked if whether or not venting the BOV to the atmosphere is legal. It is perfectly legal! Why? Because its just regular air... the air that surrounds us. Its just the air from outside that the turbo has sucked in.

Venting the WASTEGATE to the atmosphere on the other hand IS very illegal, because it is venting EXHAUST GASES to the atmosphere which to be legal, MUST go through the catalytic converter.

Therefore, all factory wastegates plumb the exhaust back into the downpipe so that it is routed through the stock exhaust system.

Why do people vent them to the atmosphere then? Because plumbing the wastegate back into the downpipe generally LOSES anywhere from 10-20hp.

So what exactly is the wastegate? The wastegates ONLY function is the regulate the maximum boost pressure that the turbo will provide.

Similar to a BOV, the wastegate also has a piston/valve that is opened, however NOT by vacuum like the BOV, it is opened from the exact OPPOSITE - boost pressure. That's what makes them different from each other.

The wastegate has a spring inside of it (internal and external wastegate) that hold the piston/valve shut. The vacuum line attached to the side of a wastegate allows the boosted air to enter the lower chamber of the wastegate and when the boost pressure inside the wastegate OVERCOMES the spring holding the pison/valve closed, it cause it to open which allows the exhaust gases that normally flow through the turbo, to exit via the wastegate.

Because the exhaust gases now have an alternate route to take, the turbo can no longer continue to spool up and create higher boost pressures. Therefore it will maintain the same boost pressure that the spring is set at.. That is why if you have a 8psi spring in a wastegate, the wastegate will open at ~8psi and hold boost levels at 8psi and will not (should not) allow the turbo to build up higher boost, otherwise you'll end picking up pieces of your motor.

Some people may argue that "the turbo must be too big if you have to stop it from spooling too high, so why not get a smaller turbo?" That statement is INCORRECT.

ALL TURBO'S will continue to spool faster and faster until the exhaust gases cannot spool it up any further.

The problem you run into is the efficiency range of the turbo. Any given turbo will only operate effciently within a givin PSI range. The size of the turbo will dictate how fast boost will come on and how much maximum potential HP it can attain.

So if you want an ALL OUT high HP drag car, then you'd want a LARGE(R) turbo that can provide 20-30psi and still be within its efficiency range whereas if you wanted a daily driven streetable car or for autox etc, you'd want to get a smaller turbo so that it can spool up quicker and give you boost almost instantaneously however will NOT be able to provide the peak HP you're looking for (lower max potential HP).

Both turbo's regardless of what motor they are on, will still require a wastegate otherwise you can't set how much boost you want to run.

Thats where a boost controller comes into play, but that is another topic.

Kuingin Kamu By Romance

Demi semua yang aku jalani bersamamu
kuingin kau jadi milikku
kuingin kau disampingku

tanpa dirimu ku hanya manusia tanpa cinta
dan hanya dirimu yang bisa
membawa surga dalam hatiku

ref:
kuingin engkau menjadi milikku
aku akan mencintaimu
menjagamu selama hidupku
dan aku kan berjanji
hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
ku akan setia disini
menemaniâ?¦

sentuhanmu
bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta
yang berhiaskan bunga asmara
dan membuatku tak kuasa
back to ref

di setiap arung gerak
tersimpan di hati kecilku
bahwa dirimu terindah untukku
back to ref

ref2:
selama ku masih bisa bertahan
selama ku masih bisa bernapas
selama Tuhan masih mengijinkan
kuingin selalu menjagamu

back to ref2 [3x]
selama ku masih bisa bertahan
selama ku masih bisa bernapas

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Why People Change Jobs

There are several reasons that people change jobs, restlessly seeking the one they can both live with and work within. Based on my personal experience, these are the three significant ones:

We change jobs because:

  1. We didn’t select the right job for us in the first place.
  2. We don’t get along with our boss.
  3. We don’t feel a connection to those we work with.

The solutions for each of these are in our circle of influence. We have choices, and the only questions are a) if we will own up to how we ourselves can effect the change necessary to break out of the on-the-job rut we may find we are in, and b) if we are willing to do the work it takes.

This is not a comprehensive how-to listing, but in the spirit of Lifehack.org and the proverbial “20 that gets you the 80,” here are a few thoughts and suggestions.

To get the Right Job

This is the biggie in my view, because if this is the problem for you, reasons number 2 about your boss, and number 3 about your co-workers are a moot point. On the other hand, if you love your boss, and you love your co-workers, they become traps that keep you in the job that may be wrong for you— remember you can convert your relationships with those people to friendships, and move on.

In moving on, the single best question you can ask in a new-job interview is, “What are the core values of this company?” If your personal values are a match your work alignment will be so, so much easier. If not, getting them aligned will be very difficult; you open the door to workplace overwhelm and dissatisfaction before you even pass probation.

Get selfish. In this case, selfish is not a negative word but a smart strategy. Bob Walsh wrote a great post here called, I want I do I get that will give you some inspiration with this.

To get the Right Boss

You have to manage up well, and whether or not you like hearing this, the reality is that managing up well can usually be reduced to making things easier on your boss by being a great employee. No boss will make life miserable for the person on staff that they count on most.

Decide on the relationship you want with your boss, and then create it. Don’t assume and make this hard on yourself, just ask them, “How do you prefer we work together?” Be brave enough and direct enough to renegotiate the working agreement they ask you for if you feel it necessary, and then deliver on what you both agreed on, so your boss will to.

To get the Right Co-Workers

To paraphrase Ghandi, be the change you wish to see in your world. Set the example you want your co-workers to follow, get involved in change discussions at work about systems and processes so your input is considered in better solutions, volunteer to lead projects, and be the poster child of great work ethic.

The strategy here is twofold: No one likes to work with co-workers who are mediocre, and like attracts like. As you perform better, you raise the bar of performance others have to live up to in the entire department or company. Second, this is a way to get your boss to do their job, coaching everyone to high levels of performance; you help them see the possibilities, challenges, and opportunities in jobs that they themselves are not in, but are required to empathize with.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Second Visit.....

Aduyai....just less than 2weeks left before my presentation...
sooo many things is still undone and in progress...
huhuhuhu...
I wish that i have more time to finish this up..
cuak..cuak...dan cuak....
huhuhu...
i dun know anything else other than this..
sorry hun..i haf to focus on this a little bit..

Special Day....

Tired.....
but today is a very special day..
walaupun xsempat tgk org bersanding, but we spend all day long together...
Bangi-putrajaya-senawang-gemas-senawang-PD-bangi-putrajaya....
huhuhuhu....
thanks syg...berkat g umah org kawen tu, nnt kna la kat kite ye...
sabar je ye syg...biar la ape org nk kate, y penting kite tau sape kite..
org nk sekat kite, tu diorg punya pasal..

Adui..penatnya syg...neway thanks sbb sudi kenalkan ngan ur bro..
really nice to know him...wat a good bro.. :-)
Good nite syg...
Love u soooo much...


Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?
by Bryan Adams


To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you - til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...